I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
