I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How naked do you want me to be?
I think i got beer on your cat.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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