Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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