She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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