called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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