Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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