i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
