I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
