I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
