Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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