My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
