don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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