When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
