apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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