More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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