a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
