were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
