can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
