Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
