i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
