so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
