What a fucking waste of an outfit
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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