If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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