hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
