I just saw a hot homeless man
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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