everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's official drugs can't kill me
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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