I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
