...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
