I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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