Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize