Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
