Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
