morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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