No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
