vagina is talking i cant
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
