By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You took a bar mat shot.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
