i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
