So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
