Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
