Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
