It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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