i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
