Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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