We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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