Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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