I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
