Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
