I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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