So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The air was thick with penises
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
