Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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