No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Say something about gay babies.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
