Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize