I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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