Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
