Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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