Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
