I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
