If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
